So, I’ve joined a new gym or ‘fitness centre’. I’m actually still going to my old gym once a week too but the new one has childcare so that’s pretty handy! It’s actually been awesome, but some aspects made me giggle at the start. Here’s a basic rundown on what happened recently at my ‘induction’ at my new gym:

Personal Trainer says: “What areas do you want to target specifically?”

Me secretly thinking: Specifically? All of ‘the areas’.

Me actually saying: “Oh my core, inner thighs and butt.”


Personal Trainer says: “ What does your diet generally look like during the day?”

Me secretly thinking: What does my diet look like? My diet looks like the silhouette of a giant panda.

Me actually saying: “Well my breakfast is pretty healthy and we don’t eat takeaway often. But I do sort of just grab whatever’s easiest from the fridge and pantry during the day.”


Personal Trainer says: “Do you ever have dessert?”

Me secretly thinking: Pfffftt. No. I usually eat too much at dinner to fit in dessert. Unless Milo counts as dessert.

Me actually saying: “No. Just Milo.”


Personal Trainer says: “Oh no! Milo is really bad for you. It’s full of sugar. You should limit this to a treat food, once a week maximum.”

Me secretly thinking: You have no idea. Treat food? Don’t you mean staple food? It is a vital post-meal type of food.  EVERY day. Sometimes more than once. And Milo has loads of good stuff in it too, like iron. I had awesome iron levels during my pregnancy. Thank you Milo! Hola!

Me actually says: “Oh yeah, I can definitely cut back. I don’t like have it every night.”


Personal Trainer says: “You mentioned you often just have cereal again for lunch. This isn’t great. What I like to do is blitz some kale, almonds, yoghurt, and any other greens I can find, in a juicer as a snack in the afternoon.”

Me secretly thinking: Oh, okay, so once Elka is FINALLY asleep I should turn on the loudest appliance I own and make a smoothie? A smoothie that sounds revolting no less? I honestly still don’t really understand kale.

My actually saying: “That sounds DELICIOUS! I will definitely do that.”


Personal Trainer says: “Is your plan to lose weight?”

Me secretly thinking: No, I don’t really care about losing weight. I just want to get out of the house.

Me actually saying: “I’m breastfeeding so I don’t want to diet. I just want to feel stronger and less like I need a backbrace when I pick up Elka.”


Personal Trainer says: “Do you have any concerns, injuries or questions before we get started?”

Me secretly thinking: Yes. Why are there so many mirrors?!?!?! I don’t need to see every inch of my cellulite the WHOLE TIME. And now that I’ve joined does that mean I actually have to come? In my tights?

Me actually saying: “No, I think you’ve covered it all. I can’t wait to get started! Thank you.”