This magpie is an asshole and last night it got personal.

He/she has been loitering around my backyard for about a week now, and it’s after me. Just me.
Last night I was bringing in the washing at 10pm (as you do) and it night swooped me!
My husband doesn’t believe me, but I’m telling you right here right now, he’s after me.

So, of course, I’ve googled it, and Wikihow have come up with the below solutions, oh and by the way BIRD it’s only a few days into Spring and not even warm yet so what are you doing making babies already???????

1. Be unpredictable. Magpies can tell the time if you are regular. Be irregular and don’t follow a routine. That way, the magpie is less likely to be ready for you. – UMMM so be MORE unpredictable than doing the washing at 10pm?

2. Do not return after an encounter. Australian magpies have an incredible memory (as with all members of the Corvid family, they are very intelligent) and will attack the same people again and again – No shit! So am I meant to move out for the next 6 weeks? Or just not return to the clothes line? (actually that is an EXCELLENT idea, people listen up, Mum’s off washing duty for Spring)

 3. Have a heart. These birds are highly intelligent and family-loving. – Not loving to MY family. Tell IT to have a heart!

4. Attach a steel nut to the end of a piece of string. Swing it above your head. You look like a helicopter wannabe but the magpie doesn’t want to get caught in that action! – Now we’re talking!

Image from wikihow.com

Image from wikihow.com

Is anyone else suffering from Magpie Madness? Feel free to vent below.